The Summer After Sixth Grade
I traced my finger
down the phone book
hoping to find the spot
in the universe
where you existed
The neighbor's kid and I
chalked your name on the road
like summoning a spirit
on a Ouija board
like the old woman
ululating for her absent son
from an alley apartment
except my cries for you
were always silent
and stuck in my throat
Nowadays
when I search for you online
a hundred people appear
who have the same name as you
like mermaids emerging
from the sea's surface
each with a unique face
that isn't yours
my finger poking at the screen
trying to get through to you
Remote
I sit next to you
but I am far away
If you look into my eyes
you will know
I am not really here
Outside the window
magnolias broadcast
the arrival of spring
My arm presses
against the glass pane
like a trapped wing
I am in America
though I might as well be
in the land of dissociation
I am a citizen
yet I feel like an alien
alone with my thoughts
You try to break the ice
with small talk
but my face remains
frozen in space
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